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Becoming a parent is one of the best things that can happen to a man or a woman. However, the many challenges of parenthood can make it difficult to be the father or mother you desire to be. It could be that you watch your beautiful 5-year old child turn into an overenergetic and uncontrollable nightmare overnight. Or, you may one day realize that your 12-year old has become disrespectful and detached. As a result, you’re left feeling hopeless and trying to figure out where the trouble began.
You may have little or no success in trying to find out how it all started. Do not despair because you are not alone. Many parents are dealing with, or are at least trying to deal with their disrespectful or disconnected kids. The good news is that some have found effective ways to overcome the common challenges of parenthood through various parenting solutions.
Common Challenges of Parenthood That Most Parents Face
- Not Spending Quality Time With Their Child
One common challenge parents face is finding enough time to spend with your child due to your busy schedule. This is quite normal in this day and age where people are preoccupied with finding new ways to improve their livelihood professionally, academically, and otherwise. Sadly, until parents realize the importance of spending time with their children, they may never be able to positively influence his or her behavior.
- Difficulty Connecting With a Distant Child
One of the main reasons a child may suddenly become disrespectful and distant is that they are not getting the attention they deserve or need from their parents. That is why spending quality time with our children is important no matter how busy we are. If we want to see positive changes in our child’s behavior, we must include him or her in our everyday schedule.
Spending quality time with our children is not limited to going camping or on vacation at least twice a month. Family activities do not always have to be something big or extravagant. It can be something as small as playing in the backyard with them, helping out with their homework, or just sitting down and listening to them. Keep in mind that what your child needs from you is that you give them the attention they need. Show your son or daughter how much you care by just being there for them.
3 Practical Ways to Create Positive Changes in Your Child’s Life
1. Expect Positive Change From Your Child
“You can never do anything right.” “You are no good.” Such negative comments have the power to turn your child’s life upside down.
Ellen Perkins wrote: “Without doubt, the number one most psychologically damaging thing you can say to a child is ‘I don’t love you’ or ‘you were a mistake’.–Mirror
She concludes: “But even more importantly, whatever words are used or implied through a parent’s behaviour, it is the feeling of being unloved that does the damage.”–Mirror
Negative comments leave your child feeling worthless and unloved. As a result, he or she may retaliate by being stubborn or outright defiant. However, you can avoid all this by simply refraining from negative talk and passing on positive and encouraging compliments.
Sometimes, parents do not realize how children might react to their thoughtless, negative comments. Oftentimes, parents are under a great deal of stress while carrying out their activities of everyday life. This stress can lead to those negative comments directed toward their children. How vital it is to “think before we speak.”
Make a genuine effort to engage in conversations centered on positive affirmations that build confidence and character.
2. Communicate Well With Your Kids
A lack of communication often leads to misunderstandings. That is why you have to communicate effectively with your children. Let them know what you expect from them. In the process, be sure to emphasize that good behavior will be rewarded while bad behavior will entail consequences. Once you make that decision, be determined to see it through.
If your child behaves appropriately, reward them for it and stay true to your word. On the other hand, if your child misbehaves, administer discipline appropriately. Remaining true to your word will not only make the kids take what you say seriously, but it will help them pause and think each time before they act. Good or bad.
3. Work With Your Partner to Overcome Challenges of Parenthood
Sometimes raising children becomes overwhelmingly difficult when we try to do it alone. However, it becomes much easier when we work with our partners. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and that is not a lie. Work with your partner, parents, siblings, and other people in your life. Do not shut your spouse out when trying to change the way your child conducts himself or herself. Set the right example by working together and making decisions together.
One mistake parents can make when reprimanding their children is to argue in front of them or disagree about how to best correct their child’s misbehavior. Making decisions together and agreeing with each other whenever the kids are around will help to create positive changes in the lives of all concerned. Any differences parents may have should be settled when the kids are not around.
The first thing to remember when trying to overcome the most common challenges of parenthood is that it takes diligent effort on the part of the parents. Secondly, children can respond positively or negatively–depending on how parents speak to them or how they treat them. It’s up to the adults to set the proper example for their children in effective communication. Any finally, spend quality time with your kids. By doing so, you may find that many of the challenges that you face could be significantly reduced or even eliminated.
“Yоu hоld in уоur hand a very rеmаrkаblе thіng, ѕоmеthіng fоr whісh раrеntѕ hаvе always yearned: a hоw-tо mаnuаl fоr rаіѕіng сhіldrеn thаt аrе happy, independent and рrоduсtіvе!” – Tеd L Meyer, MD, FAAP, рrоmіnеnt реdіаtrісіаn in Sarasota, Flоrіdа
“Yоu аrе Your Child’s Bеѕt Pѕусhоlоgіѕt іѕ a muѕt rеаd for аnуоnе whо is rаіѕіng or wоrkѕ wіth children!” – Jоhn M. Tаuеr, Ph.D., youth ѕроrtѕ еxреrt, 2-tіmе соllеgе bаѕkеtbаll dіvіѕіоn III nаtіоnаl сhаmріоn & nаtіоnаl coach оf the уеаr
“Dr. van Ingеn hаѕ done іt again!” – Jаmеѕоn C Lоntz, Ph.D., renown neuropsychologist in thе Nоrthwеѕt
Borba, Michele. “The big book of parenting solutions: 101 answers to your everyday challenges and wildest worries.“ Vol. 1. John Wiley & Sons, 2009.